Late Night Journal Entry: Living a life in lists and then drinking it away

Don't live a life in lists.
Stand. Close your eyes and Breath.
Now go and do.
Stop filling notebooks of everything you want to do,
Stop laying in bed and live the life inside your head
Get up and do!
Everything you want you can do.
It's inside of you
inside of us all.
The difference is the will to actually do it.

I'm nearly 20. Where as to some that may seem like a child, I feel as though I have lived a thousand years. I have a million memories, a million dreams. And yet when I truly sit down and ask what it is that I have done, I'm silent.

I have filled notebook after notebook with everything I want to do without doing a single thing! Books left unread, languages never learned, skilled never mastered. Instead I am sucked in to what I feel my generation is most notorious for. Complacency. Selfishness. Laziness. Instant Gratification. No Ambition. No Desire.

Stuck on repeat, trapped in our social media and partying ways. Facebook, Pintrest, Instagram, Blogging, NETFLIX,  Bars, Dancing, "Going out", getting coffee, Girls night, guys night, movie night.

We take any and every possible chance to drink and forget. Christmas? Wine. New Years? Champagne  and lots of it! Halloween? Can't remember. 4th of July? Beer. Oh and then there unlimited amounts of birthday parties, themed parties, generational parties.

So I made a shift in my life. I decided that I was going to stop just living inside my head where it was safe. I was going to stop watching Netflix and stop complaining about what I want and I was going to do. So thats what I did.

I went vegan. I started running and working out. I do yoga. I've lost nearly 20 pounds. I deleted nearly 700 'friends' off my Facebook. I'm learning how to cook. I'm writing music and poetry. I'm learning how to knit and crochet. I'm learning money management. I'm learning how to be a better friend and better girlfriend. I'm practicing living an honest life. I'm meditating. I'm reading. I'm stopping all the comparing I used to do. I'm learning to love who I am. I'm learning.

I decided to live my life for no one but myself.

I recently had an experience with a co-worker of mine. I just started at Tilly's and was still getting to know everyone. He asked me when things were really slow. "what do you do for fun?" I smiled, and told him that I would probably the most boring person he had ever met. "I read, I knit, I play music, I cook, I run a lot and do yoga" He looked at me funny, like I didn't understand the question, "No, I mean what do you do for fun?" And he wasn't the only person I got this reaction from. 

Its amazing to me that I was considered the weird one since my hobbies didn't start and end with getting drunk. That because my idea of fun was spending time with myself and improving my mind I was the odd one.  It's sad really that that's what has become our social norm. Drunkardness. Partying. Sex. 

Here's to changing that norm! Here's learning! To adventure. To standing for something. For having passion. For kindness and love. Here's for using our time to grow and better ourselves. And for doing what we want because we Fucking Can!